Life is a gift.

The picture above is Cameron J. Miller, and the one below is of Erin Noble. Cam went to my high school in Gonzaga, and even though I was just an acquaintance at best, I knew he was absolutely hilarious and very intelligent. I found out yesterday he went to the University of Alabama for law, where he graduated magna cum laude. He was working for a firm in Alabama, and he also was coaching 7th and 8th grade lacrosse. He died yesterday due to a brain aneurism from undiagnosed leukemia. Erin was in the grade above me at Pomona, and I knew him even less than Cam. What I did know was that he loved the outdoors and seemed like he had a free spirit. I read yesterday that he traveled the globe, had some amazing adventures, and lived his life to the fullest. He was, in other words, a modern day gypsy; one who was happy, open, and always respectful and joyful. He died yesterday in a plane crash.

I wasn't best friends with these two men. I wouldn't even consider them friends, more acquaintances than anything else. But I know people who were deeply hurt by their passing, and it just made me think about how precious life truly is. I probably never would have seen those guys in those pictures again in life...but now, it is CERTAIN than I never will. Death creates a certainty that is ultimate, infinite, and powerful. It also makes me just so thankful of the gift of life God has given me and the people he has put into it. It makes me reflect on who I am, what I do, and who I'm with...and how appreciative I am of those things.

I read a post someone wrote about Erin, and I saw some questions he posed that I think are good reminders to ask ourselves:

Think about where you’re currently at in life, and where you want to be.  Are you on the path you want? What small change can you make today to start heading in the direction you want to be going?

What do you like to do? Do more of it.

Who do you like to be with? See them more often.

Where do you want to go? Just go, the details are just that.

Who do you want to be? Start being it. The only person who cares about your excuses are you.

And finally, something I read a while ago...Don't let what you want make you forget the things you have. 

Life truly is a gift. In the wan of wanting to pray more and reflect on God more often, this was a definite reminder of the realities in life and that the moments we have are precious and valuable. No time for excuses...just time to be a better person through God and allow Him to work in my life.

"Slow down everyone you're moving too fast." -Jack Johnson

Find a picture that defines your current idea of peace and quiet. 

This escape to Tybee Island is much needed for all parts of my being. So lucky to have found a man who sees God in the sea as much as I do. 

More than a Runner

I love this interview with Adam Goucher.http://www.flotrack.org/speaker/24-Adam-Goucher An amazing professional runner whose wife Kara is equally as talented. This alturistic account of what it's like to face realizations that your sport does not define you, your successes do not define you. The letdown that competitive athletes face when they come down off of the high points in their career or face this he struggles of decline in their athleticism as "life takes over"' is something that only those who experience it can understand. It can be a gripping paralysis on your self understanding and affect how you see your role in all other aspects of your life and even your relationships. This can obviously be compared to all of the other things we find identity in and how necessary it is to maintain a healthy perception of the way these things do and do not define us. Ultimately, our truest identity is in God and how we live lives of love, especially for those closest to us. I think the way Adam Goucher discovers this selflessness for his wife and family (they are proud parents now!) with his identity as a runner at the backdrop...and be able to put those pieces together and abandon his "self" to something greater than himself is a true mark of holiness. I can relate to this type of struggle and it touches my heart and inspires me to strive for this same type of perspective. Running doesn't define me but it is a big part of my spirituality and I am thankful that God can use it to teach me lessons about love, sacrifice and holiness.

Faith...

Cultivation.

Taking care of a plant is a huge process. It doesn't require simply placing a seed into the ground and expecting things to grow from it. One has to nurture it, watch it carefully, water it, make sure it's in a place where it would get plenty of sun, fertilize it, protect it from bugs or small animals, prune it...the list goes on and on. But when you do all of these things, the plant eventually grows strong, beautiful, fruitful...and due to the way nature beautifully works out, it in turn can affect the area around it due to pollination. When you put hard work into a seed, it can create such a huge impact.

This can be akin to prayer. When you work at prayer and your faith life, it can completely transform your life for the better, along with the people who you are involved with. I've come to know that when I pray and actively seek to improve my faith life, my own life in turn becomes more fruitful, healthy, and happy..and that my relationships with other people as well become more real and down to earth. And just like working with a seed, maintaining prayer for me is not a walk in the park. It takes a genuine effort, and the results of God's grace in my life can't be something I just "expect" to come along without me working for any of it. I've had the luck of working at Archbishop Carroll and being able to go to the Shrine every morning to pray. It was a huge blessing, but now looking back at it, I realize that maybe it was a kickstart from God to get me going in prayer. Since school has ended, my efforts to cultivate my "prayer seed" have been lackluster at best. God's grace is always something that I need in life, and I have to make sure to put in the efforts to make that happen. Whether it's maintaining daily prayer to writing in the prayer blog more often, I have to maintain and constantly work at being closer to Christ. 

Sometimes, one of the things that occur is that I get so behind in where I want to be with prayer and my faith, that I start feeling sorry for myself and ashamed that I haven't been "good enough" for God. That feeling can permeate and just make it harder to get back into the right swing of things. But I heard something about Judas (I believe it was on the radio...but to be honest, I'm not completely sure) that really has hit me lately. We all know Judas as the man who betrayed Jesus and then hung himself due to his shame. The tragedy of Judas doesn't lie in the betrayal, which is what everyone focuses on. It truly lies in his inability to seek forgiveness and to return to God. We are like Judas in the sense that we all have times in our lives where we fail, where we fall, where we may feel that all is completely lost and that we are not worthy of forgiveness. But that is where we are completely wrong. I will always remember that there is ALWAYS time to come back to God, to make things right, to get back into prayer, to maintain my writing, to grow and cultivate His seed in my soul. It does no good to wallow in wrongdoing, but rather to learn from what has occurred, reach out to God, and grow with His grace towards a better future. Here's to a pledge of more prayer, more blog writing, more personal growth towards God...gotta get that garden growing!