aright we're going with the OT reading again... Heb 13:15-17, 20-21:
Brothers and sisters:
Through Jesus, let us continually offer God a sacrifice of praise,
that is, the fruit of lips that confess his name.
Do not neglect to do good and to share what you have;
God is pleased by sacrifices of that kind.
Obey your leaders and defer to them,
for they keep watch over you and will have to give an account,
that they may fulfill their task with joy and not with sorrow,
for that would be of no advantage to you.
May the God of peace, who brought up from the dead
the great shepherd of the sheep
by the Blood of the eternal covenant,
furnish you with all that is good, that you may do his will.
May he carry out in you what is pleasing to him through Jesus Christ,
to whom be glory forever and ever. Amen.
Beyond the obviousness of what comes to mind from this passage, it further makes me think of my relationship and the struggles I experience with trying to cultivate what I want to cultivate with someone who is on the other end of the world until December...
ReplyDelete"That they may fulfill their task with joy and not sorrow."
--> This kind of feels like having ice water dumped on you while you're laying in bed. The task which is before me is not mine rather it is God's. It is a task that I am to fulfill without always being sorrowful about the difficulties. However, after having been in long-distance relationships for roughly 5.5 years I am at the point where I find it very difficult to find the strength to be joyful about it. This is particularly upsetting and frustrating because this person deserves my joyful heart more than anyone. I often find myself questioning God (I suppose a sign of my passionate heart getting the best of me) and wondering why I am not being blessed with the grace to bring my A-game. It makes me think of that quote that 'If God brings you to it He'll bring you through it.' Except I don't want to just make it through, both of us standing on the other side all beaten and battered. The "One"(http://www.enneagram.com/enneagram_type1.html) in me is not okay with this mediocrity but somehow I cannot seem to summon anything beyond this.
"May the God of peace...furnish you with all that is good, that you may do His will."
--> But here it is...in writing...reassurance. Passages like this are a reminder that we must at least have hope that God will provide, even when it seems like you can't find the strength. I have to continually take a good, hard look at myself and ask if I am genuinely praying for this said grace that I long for. Not that God plays games with us and waits for us to ask..but if we aren't actively seeking to receive His strength then the evil that is not God will rush in a make a home... and then where is there any room for God to permeate us with His peace and strength?
This struggle feels almost physical to me at times. It wells up in me an anger and frustration that I do not enjoy harboring. There is no room for God amid that. I have to make room. To say that is an arduous task would be an understatement. But to say that it is not worth it would be a cowardly mistake.
“May the God of peace…furnish you with all that is good, that you may do his will.”
ReplyDeleteSometimes I feel like my life is akin to a hurricane. The past seven years of my life, I’ve been on the move…from Virginia to California to Arizona to Chile…meeting all sorts of new people, having to become comfortable in distant places quickly, so on and so forth. Sometimes I just want life to SLOW DOWN: that I want to just be in one place, develop and grow into that place with the special someone in my life, and that would make me happy. This is even more amplified now, because I feel like I’ve found that person…but in the same token I’m doing something that couldn’t physically bring me farther away. Out of all the times in my life where I’d want to just BE in a place near someone, I’m doing an international program. Oh, it is true that all my experiences in moving have made me who I am, and I certaintly have experienced growth throughout the process. But it doesn’t mean that this seeking of true PEACE fades to black. In this sense, a feeling of desiring that peace lays itself within my chest…a desire of peace that is ironic in the fact that my want for it can be so strong and overpowering, it gives me the exact opposite of what I seek.
But this desire in actuality really needs to be tweaked. Yes, a desire for this peace is something I truly want and need to have. But it must be defined through God, because if it’s not…then it really won’t be peace at all. If God isn’t present in it, then the devil will just have me searching in dead ends for the rest of my life. I think it’s important to remember to let God in, to just swing open the gates of my being and invite Him in to plan out my future. It’s even funny to think about that…because the passage uses the word “furnish” for having God fill you with His peace…almost as if God is moving His furniture of grace and love into me as I will eventually furnish my own place close to the person I care about in a place that is comfortable. God is good, and with Him taking the road map, there’s no need to worry or stress about seeking that peace. Once He’s with you on the journey, that peace is already there.