Faith: you can have it if you ask for it.

How interesting and ironic that Francisco just posted about the very thing that was on my mind! It seems we have a bit of what I like to call "E.T. Syndrome" going on here, where one person feels what the other is feeling at that very moment. :)
      After some difficult personal struggles resurfaced for me this past week I too found myself desperate to let God take away the burdens that I feel like I have been carrying around as long as I can remember. I once read a book in college titled "The Sacred Romance" and in it the author references the Arrows that have pierced our heart at points in our lives and can remain lodged there if we don't allow God to heal us. I think this is an awesome description that we can all relate to. I can especially identify with it at this particular point in my life where I am faced with the harsh reality of some of the Arrows I still carry in my heart (and which have affected my decision-making for many years now) and the deeply intense ways they paralyze me.
     No one wants to live in a state of feeling like we are controlled by our sufferings, especially when we see how people we love are impacted. However, one thing I know to be true is that I can only find peace and (gradual) healing from sufferings such as these when I 100% trust God to do it. I see myself as a flawed human being, acutely aware of my own shortcomings, doubtful of my own abilities to what seems impossible, feeling inferior to those who seem to be able to love so freely in ways that I feel unable to. I sometimes feel like a slave to my Arrows.
    This is not how God sees me, or any of us. He has created us to love far beyond what we dream we are capable of and I believe that if we ask for it, not only does he help heal our hearts to be able to do so but he also places people at our side to nourish the process.
     At mass tonight the priest spoke to the notion we must strive for absolute faith. To have faith in God in all aspects of our lives, especially in those things we cling to control. This does not mean to pray and then say "but what if..." it means to pray and walk away...leave it 100% with God....trust Him. "This is when miracles happen," he said.
    I think I could use a miracle.