Mark 8: 14-21
Now the disciples had forgotten to bring any bread; and they had only one loaf with them in the boat. And he cautioned them, saying, "Watch out--beware of the yeast of the Pharisees and the yeast of Herod." They said to one another, "It is because we have no bread." And becoming aware of it, Jesus said to them, "Why are you talking about having no bread? Do you still not perceive or understand? Are your hearts hardened? Do you have eyes, and fail to see? Do you have ears, and fail to hear? And do you not remember? When I broke the five loaves for the five thousand, how many baskets full of broken pieces did you collect?" They said to him, "Twelve." "And the seven for the four thousand, how many baskets full of broken pieces did you collect?" And they said to him, "Seven." Then he said to them, "Do you not yet understand?"
Now the disciples had forgotten to bring any bread; and they had only one loaf with them in the boat. And he cautioned them, saying, "Watch out--beware of the yeast of the Pharisees and the yeast of Herod." They said to one another, "It is because we have no bread." And becoming aware of it, Jesus said to them, "Why are you talking about having no bread? Do you still not perceive or understand? Are your hearts hardened? Do you have eyes, and fail to see? Do you have ears, and fail to hear? And do you not remember? When I broke the five loaves for the five thousand, how many baskets full of broken pieces did you collect?" They said to him, "Twelve." "And the seven for the four thousand, how many baskets full of broken pieces did you collect?" And they said to him, "Seven." Then he said to them, "Do you not yet understand?"
So many questions! Jesus doesn't even give them time to answer! Again, I sense some impatience with their...complete lack of faith. I can totally picture this inquisitional litany taking place. I can’t help but imagine this exact same thing taking place in the here and now…except with Jesus directing these words at me. I had the pleasure of having lunch and wonderful conversation with Margo today and she helped me work through a lot of the unknowns and questions that I am have been starting to ask myself about all of the variables regarding my future. It’s strange to be having to consider so many things as I move into a period of my life that will involve a lot of big decisions. I count it as a huge blessing to have someone like Margo to share her wisdom and perspective with me at the backdrop of God’s love. However, after reading this passage it reminded me of the way I spoke today in certain points of our conversation: full of questions. Worst-case and best-case scenarios, what-ifs and everything in between. Certainly I am a person who likes to be prepared and there is definitely value in exploring the situations that might present themselves in my life down the road, especially in light of making big decisions in the present. Sometimes these questions can never be answered though. I have to pray for that balance between being responsible with my decision-making and also having faith in what I cannot foresee. It is so difficult to do this but reading this passage is definitely a reminder of how absurd it is that I sometimes find myself asking SO MANY questions. I guess that’s why this evening I went to the church and just prayed and sat in silence, a little exhausted from the runaround that had been going on in my head about things that seem so far away and unpredictable. Sometimes the best question to ask is simply, “God, will you please speak to my heart?”
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